


Mountain out of a Rose Hill

by shipskicksandgiggles



Series: Jaime's Parkner week 20biteen [9]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Smut, I made all of this up bcuz it was cute, M/M, No-powers AU, Peter knows tony bcuz hes a genius, Weddings, author knows nothing about growing flowers, its also 3am and nothing makes sense anymore, no spiderman, oh my god they were roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-23 19:30:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20200684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipskicksandgiggles/pseuds/shipskicksandgiggles
Summary: "PS. Harley, if you don’t bring a date,I’m setting you up with someone at the wedding. :)"They go back to the town Harley grew up in for a wedding





	Mountain out of a Rose Hill

**Author's Note:**

> day 9 is also late, im sorry
> 
> I hope this makes up for it
> 
> prompt: fake pretend relationships // Rose Hill, Tennessee

** _Please Join Us in Celebrating the Union Of_ **

** _Abigail Keener and Jason Redily_ **

** _On August 10th, 2019_ **

** _In Rose Hill, Tennessee_ **

** _Please bring one Guest of your Choosing_ **

** _RSVP by June 10, 2019_ **

Harley stared down at the invitation in his hands. Then he glanced at the sticky note his baby sister had so lovingly enclosed with the card. 

_Harley, if you don’t bring a date,_

_ I’m setting you up with someone at the wedding. _

_ :) _

He was happy for Abby, he really was. It’s just, her matchmaking skills are disastrous at best, and he doesn’t particularly feel like going to a wedding to be shamed for being single. With a groan, he flopped back onto his bed.

His roommate popped his head into the room. “Harles, I made dinner if you want anything.” There was a short pause. “Why are you laying down like a moody teenager?”

“‘M not a moody teenager.”

“Moody adult then, you happy?”

“No,” Harley mumbled, but he sat up anyway. 

“Hey what’s wrong?” A weight settled on his bed. He handed Peter the invitation. 

“You’re upset because… your sister’s getting married?” 

He handed him the sticky note. Peter scanned it.

“Ah yes that makes more sense.” Peter had heard the stories of Abby’s matchmaking. Hell, he’d been the one to help Harley through the aftermath on more than one occasion. “What are you gonna do?”

“What is there to do?” Harley asked frustratedly. “I’m gonna have to suffer through her god awful matchmaking skills. Again.”

Peter had started rubbing his back to soothe him. It felt almost domestic the way he was acting. Which hurt Harley even more. Like he could have a relationship with him romantically. But he couldn’t because Peter has a boyfriend. 

“What if you didn’t have to?”

Harley raised his eyebrows. “What you mean ‘what if I didn’t have to?’ You’ve met my sister. She’ll go through with it and you know it.”

“Okay but in theory-”

“Your theories are shit, Parker, and you’re a scientist.”

“In _ theory _,” Peter continued, “what if you got someone to fake it?”

_ Like every shitty fan fiction trope ever _ , he thought. “She’ll know it was fake. Someone will screw up a crucial part of a story or some shit and reveal it’s fake. Then it’ll be even _ worse _.”

“So get someone who knows you really well,” suggested Peter. “A close friend who would make sense that you would be dating them.”

“Pete, I don’t have that many friends,” said Harley. He was extremely doubtful of all of this. “And like maybe two people know me well enough that it would work. One of them is MJ. Which definitely wouldn’t work because Abby knows that both of us are gay.”

“I could,” he offered. 

“Darlin’ I’m so sorry, but there are so many reasons that wouldn’t work. For instance,” Harley started listing, “I’ve known you forever and to start dating you now? Unrealistic. Plus you have a boyfriend. Abby knows you have a boyfriend. And did I mention that you’re my roommate?”

Peter looked surprised. He held up a hand to stop him. “Wait. Didn’t I tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“Wade and I broke up? He cheated on me months ago, and I caught him because the girl called in the middle of date night,” he told Harley. “I thought I told you?”

“No? What the fuck dude? You should have told me though. I would have thrown him into a dumpster at the very least!” Harley got up and started pacing around the room. He was dragged back down by a laughing Peter. 

“Can we worry about your sister’s wedding now, please? We can focus on my horrible ex later ‘kay?”

“...Fine.”

“So,” he said, “fake dating each other pros and cons. Go.”

They sat in silence for a moment, thinking. “Pro: you’ll know and be familiar with someone at the wedding,” he started. 

“Con: we both suck at acting and we’ll be discovered,” Harley countered. 

“Pro: MJ makes fun of us for acting like a couple anyways with our, quote ‘domestic bullshitness’.”

Harley grumbled. He was right, of course. “Con: if they put us up in a hotel, they’ll make us share a room. Probably with one bed.”

“So? One of us can sleep on the floor or we’ll create a pillow barrier,” Peter argued. “Anyways, pro: I’ll get to see your sister again. I love that woman.”

“How does that benefit me?”

“Takes the focus off of you.”

“But… no that’s a solid point actually. Continue.”

Peter grinned. “Pro: I’ll get to see your hometown. Pro: we’ll get to spend more time around each other-”

“Is that a pro though?” questioned Harley.

“-and finally, pro: your sister doesn’t set you up on a date. Or for disaster. Whichever.” Peter was standing directly in front of Harley now, hands on his hips, a clear sign of his victory. 

Harley sighed. “Okay, fine. You win. I’ll take you as my date.” _ This is such a bad idea _. “What’s our story? We can’t go into this blind, and I know we have a few months, but we need time to iron out the details.”

He seemed to contemplate this. “Well our history can stay pretty much the same,” he said slowly.

“Wade and your break up will have to be a part of it, obviously. Abbs knew about y’all.”

A nod. “After the breakup, I was distraught, and you comforted me.”

“Hold on,” Harley stopped him. “Was that that week where you came home early one day and refused to get out of bed for a week?”

“Yeah. For someone who actually fucking cared for me post-breakup, I’m really shocked you didn’t know.”

He had cared for him. Peter was refusing to care for himself, so Harley had done what a decent friend would have done, and been a caretaker. Made homemade soup, heated blankets in the dryer, even carried him out to the couch to watch a movie so he could do laundry. He started laughing. 

“What’s so funny?”

“I thought you were sick!” he proclaimed. “Your face was red and your nose was runny! My first thought was ‘Oh no he has a cold!’” By now he was doubled over, gasping for breath. “Now I find out you broke up with your douchebag boyfriend?”

Peter started to giggle along with him. “Not ‘Oh no he’s upset’? ‘He has a cold’ my ass you idiot.” 

“We’re not mentioning that.”

“Oh no we are _ absolutely _ mentioning that. Followed of course by me thanking you for helping me through my post-breakup depression, your realization of that fact, and then an explanation of how about a month went by where I stewed over how I missed your fussiness over me, and you missing fussing over me, to the point where we actually need to talk through our feelings with another outside friend and realizing ‘Oh fuck I’m in love with him’ and us having to have that conversation,” he outlined. “Once we talk over that, you ask me out on a proper date, despite us living together for three years. I’m assuming you’d say something about wanting to court me properly or whatever.”

This was overwhelming to say the very least. “I mean, sure. Southern values of courtship and all that,” Harley said in an attempt to keep down any panic he could possibly be showing due to their situation. “I’ll have talked it through with MJ and Shuri, probably. Package deal after all.”

“And I’ll have gone to Ned because I’ve known him forever.” Peter clapped his hands. “Other fine details we should probably go over before we call Abby and tell her?”

“First date?” Harley asked.

“Coffee and a walk through Central Park,” came the answer. 

“Have we said ‘I love you’?” 

“Yes after about two weeks because we were close even before this, so it didn’t feel like too soon.” 

“Fair enough.” He unlocked his phone and scrolled to find her contact. She picked up on the second ring. 

“Hello?”

“Hey Abbs. Heard you were getting married,” Harley couldn’t resist teasing.

“Oh yeah. You never call. I thought a nuclear disaster must be happening.” There was his darling baby sister. 

“Hey fuck you! I’m RSVPing, you asshole. Show your brother some respect.”

“Maybe. Should I plan on finding one of my fiancé’s relatives to set you up with?” she asked. 

“Actually,” he drawled and flipped the phone over to speaker, “I’ll be bringing my boyfriend.”

Silence. “Your what?”

“Boyfriend. You remember Peter? Say hi, sweetheart.” He nudged the boy in question. 

“Hey Abby!” Peter spoke up. “Congratulations, by the way! I’m so happy for you. Now if only your brother would do something so romantic.”

“Ooo good one,” he mouthed. 

Peter only bobbed his head in return, and went back to talking to Abby. She had asked about their relationship and Peter was giving a rundown of what they’d just outlined. When he got to the part about how Harley thought he was sick, staticky laughter could be heard through the speakers. 

“He would, that dumbass,” she said with a small snort. “Why didn’t you tell me Harles?”

“Wanted it to be a surprise, I guess. This seemed a good a time as any.” 

Once she was satisfied with their story, she hung up with a few more insults (Harley) and praises (Peter), but not before she mentioned, “Oh by the way, the wedding is going to be nature themed, so instead of putting people up in a hotel, we’re asking you to bring tents and sleeping bags.”

After the click, Peter sighed. “Looks like I’m adding a tent to our shopping list. Do we have sleeping bags?”

They didn’t. Those also went on the list. 

~~~

The drive to Rose Hill was uneventful. Who knew the Midwest was covered in cornfields? They used the drive to go over the last of their plan (“Physical affection limitations?” “None” “You’re gonna regret that” _ Yeah probably _). 

The address Abby sent them took them to Harley’s childhood home. Her exhausted looking soon-to-be husband met them at the door. 

“We’re having people park over there,” Jason said, indicating a vacant lot half a block away. “Then y’all can drag your stuff to the field behind the house.” 

Harley patted him on the back. “I’m gonna assume this was Abby’s idea.”

When the man nodded wearily, he hit him one more time. “Welcome to the family dude.”

  
  


The field behind the house was gorgeous at this time of year. Harley almost wished they had decided to have the ceremony outside instead of in the stone chapel two blocks away. Sure it was cute, but the beginning of August meant the roses were in full bloom and the field was covered with them. It was incredibly romantic and it smelled even better. Peter took a look around and gasped. 

“It’s beautiful!”

“It’s how we got the name Rose Hill, sweetheart,” Harley told him. There was a shout and he turned. “Oh no. Don’t look now but our favorite maniac is running straight for us.”

Sure enough, Abby met them halfway. “Hey y’all, you made it!” she exclaimed as she practically knocked Peter over with the force of her hug. At least Harley had the preemptive notion to drop the bags he was carrying before he was tackled. Which happened. 

He ended up flat on his ass due to the intensity of his sister’s affection. She might be tiny, but oh lord could she pack a punch. “Hey Abbs,” he said with a small ‘oof’, a result of a light sock to the stomach. 

“Hey dickwad.”

“Ooo! You kiss your future husband with that mouth?”

She hit him again. “Yeah yeah.” The weight on top of him was taken away, and he got up. 

Abby grabbed one of his bags. “C’mon. I wanna show you where I want you to put your tent. Then I’m gonna help you set up because y’all city folks don’t know shit about this.”

Peter made a small noise of protest. Harley’s opposition was made much clearer. “You seem to forget I’m from here,” he said even as he followed her. “I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive.”

“Uh huh, sure. Unfortunately you’ve lived in New York for a few too many years now, and I want to help you anyways,” she retorted without turning around. 

“You want to shovel talk me while my dear boyfriend does all the work,” Peter interpreted. 

“_ Ding ding ding _ and the winner is-“ she made jazz hands in his direction. 

Harley rolled his eyes. 

Unfortunately, Peter was right and he did all the work while the other two gossiped. When he finished, he stood up and glared at them. “I don’t love either of you anymore.”

“False, my love,” Peter sang. He strode over and gave a taller man a kiss on the cheek. 

“False,” he agreed, gazing after him as he ducked into the tent with their bags. 

Abby started cackling. 

“Now what?”

“Y’all are fuckin’ whipped for each other, god damn.” She whistled. “Before I leave you two alone, you know how to zip you sleeping bags together right?”

“No?”

“Great. Let me help.” Before Harley could respond, she ducked into the tent with Peter, who let out a small yell at the sudden intrusion. 

The tent was small, but he could hear what was happening from outside. She unpacked their sleeping bags and made quick work of putting them together, ‘So you don’t have to sleep separate,’ she told Peter sweetly.

Once she left with a final reminder of the rehearsal dinner the next day, Harley stepped in to see her work. 

“I don’t know how to undo that.”

“That’s gonna make it hard to sleep separately,” Peter commented. They had only brought one pillow per person, so they couldn’t create a barrier. 

“I’ll sleep on top of the covers. I know how cold you get,” Harley sighed. He had the body heating of a glacier on a good day. 

“We brought extra blankets too, so you won’t be completely without.” Speaking of, Peter handed him the bag they were in. 

They unpacked the rest of the way in silence, punctuated by a new person or group setting up around them every so often. 

“I do want to see your hometown,” Peter said to break the quiet. 

Harley looked over from where he was setting up the battery powered lamp. “Then let’s take a tour, shall we?” He held out his arm for Peter to take, and together they walked into town. 

“It’s no New York,” Harley told him as they reached the center of town, “but for all its faults, I really did love this place.”

Peter disentangled his arm from Harley’s and walked a few steps. He spun in a slow circle, taking in the short Main Street that connected all the buildings that mattered. 

He started pointing out different places, indicating their importance in his life. “That bar used to be a different restaurant. That was my first non-mechanic job from before Tony dragged me to New York.”

“Why didn’t Tony come? I know he got invited.”

“Had a bunch of meetings that were scheduled long before this and Pepper was pissed at him about something so he couldn’t take the time. Plus how would he respond to camping out like this?”

He seemed to accept that answer. “From what he’s told me about the Mandarin Incident, I’m not sure he would appreciate being back here too much either.”

“That’s fair.” 

The sun was starting to set behind the courthouse. They should probably get back before it gets dark. Harley walked up behind Peter and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Let’s go home, sweetheart,” he murmured with his face buried in Peter’s shoulder. He felt Peter nod, so he released his grip and took his hand instead. 

  
  


Peter settled into the sleeping bag once they returned. He pulled out a book about biology that he was studying for a new project and started reading. Harley slipped out to see what the shower situation was. 

“Since you’re family, I’ll let you use the house,” Abby said. “Same goes for Peter since he’s your significant other.” 

He showered and switched into a pair of sweats and an old, worn out t-shirt. Once he returned, he informed Peter of the news. 

While he was gone, the shorter boy had also put on pyjamas. He looked adorable in the oversized shirt and fuzzy pants. _ Ugh _ he hated this. 

Harley laid down on top of the sleeping bag and pulled the blankets over top. He turned away from the light and tried to go to sleep. Not long after, he felt Peter shift as the light turned off. 

“G’night Harles,” whispered Peter. 

“Night,” was Harley’s muffled reply. He drifted out into a fitful night's sleep. 

  
  


He awoke sometime in the middle of the night to what felt like vibrating coming from under him. Harley sat up in alarm. Peter was so cold, he was shivering. 

He woke up moments later with a gasp. “H-h-Harley?” he chattered out.

“Hey darlin’ I’m right here. What do you need?”

“C-cold,” his teeth clicking made it hard to talk. 

Harley moved on instinct, ripping the blankets off of himself, rearranging them to cover him, and getting under the sleeping bag with Peter, wrapping him in a tight hug. “Shhh,” he said to soothe him. “I’m right here. I’ll keep you warm.”

Peter buried himself in the larger boy’s chest. Eventually, his shaking slowed and he relaxed. “Do you want me to stay like this?” Harley asked. 

“Would you mind?” he asked shyly

“Of course not! You’re freezing your ass off, and I need your ass alive and intact if I’m gonna survive this wedding.” Harley started rubbing circles into his back. “I like cuddling too, so that certainly doesn’t hurt.”

The small rumble of a laugh shook Harley’s chest. “Thank you.” 

Harley lowered them both down so they were laying down. Being this close to Peter was terrifying. The proximity was exhilarating, and he wondered what it would be like to kiss him from here. To be like this every night. He wondered if he could read his inner thoughts. His heart was racing. 

“Harley?” Peter looked up at him through his eyelashes. 

_ Fuck fuck shit fuck _

Peter moved first, surging forward to lock his lips with Harley’s. The kiss was sloppy and filled with feelings of things left unsaid. 

“_ Baby _,” Harley moaned. He flipped them over and shoved Peter’s legs apart with his own. He was so light, it would be easy to lift him and fuck him against any surface. He moaned again at the thought. 

He started biting marks into Peter’s neck. “Tell me this isn’t a one time thing,” he panted. “Please, I can’t let this be a-“ he let out a choked gasp when Peter ground into him. 

“I’ve wanted to do this since I met you,” he growled, and holy _ fuck _ was that hot. “This will definitely not be a one time thing.”

“Wanted to- oh my god sweetheart, you’re so good- wanted to ask you out for real, please baby you gotta let me- oh_ fuck _ Peter don’t stop don’t-“

Harley was rutting into Peter’s thigh with reckless abandon. He stopped himself and ripped the sweats down past his ass. Peter wriggled out of his own pants, exposing his cock. Both of their shirts were discarding as well. 

He whined. “Wanna take you apart, baby. Piece by piece, want to know what makes you squirm.” Harley was desperate now, touching every inch of skin he could reach. Suddenly, he changed course and moved down to take care of Peter. 

When his tongue hit his cock, Peter let out a breathy moan of his own. “Harles, oh my god honey,” he gasped out when he started sucking. “I’m not gonna last. I’m gonna- I’m gon- I- nngh!” He came right down down Harley’s throat, hips jackknifing off the ground. Harley did his best to swallow what he could of the cum, and let the rest dribble down his chin and onto his chest. 

Harley shot up from his position between Peter’s legs and connected their lips again, no less desperate, but a little more gentle. “Wait, baby you still need-“

“No I don’t,” Harley confessed. 

Peter looked down and saw a wet patch growing in Harley’s boxers. His head thumped back on the pillow. “_ Fuck _ me that’s hot.”

“That was kinda the plan sweet thing,” Harley laughed. 

“Shut up.” He half heartedly hit him in the ribs. 

“Make me,” he taunted, grinning down at Peter. 

“Okay, but you might moan a little.”

Harley dropped his head down towards his cum slick chest, grinning. “God you’re hot. Have I ever told you that?”

“Maybe once or twice.”

Neither one of them could stop smiling. And if they couldn’t stop smiling all through the weekend, well… that was their business. 

Harley would make sure they had at least this many roses at their wedding a few short years later. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr at [parallelparkner](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/parallelparkner/)


End file.
